Everything happens for a reason

I just received this joke from my friend Margaret. I thought I should definitely post this one. Enjoy!


Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for thirty-two years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two months have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done,
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and
ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to Florida together! Have a great life!

Sincerely,
Your Ex-Wife.


Dear Ex-Wife:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for thirty-two years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week. The first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was
$49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you now have the wonderful life you always wanted. My lawyer said with the letter that
you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother, was born Carla. I hope that's
not a problem.

Sincerely,
Rich As Hell and Free!

Thanks

I just wanted to thank those of you that have wished my clumsy self well. It's been almost a week since I broke my pinkie toe and I must say that it hurts more now than when I first broke it. Oh well, I guess i'm just going to have to deal with it until it heals. Again, thanks alot everyone.

My first broken bone

Well, after living almost 31 years, i've finally broken a bone. I fell down my stairs around 4:45am on Thursday morning and landed on my right pinkie toe. Confirmation came in yesterday afternoon when I went to the podiatrist. Yup, it's broken. Not only did I break my toe but I broke it in the joint. Now i'm in a surgical shoe but at least I can drive. The doctor also told me that I could develop Arthritis in that toe when I get older because of the way I broke it. Isn't that just lovely? Well, of course my wonderful husband found it quite amusing that the toe broke because I am always making fun of him for being accident prone. I can't believe how much a broken toe can hurt but my 9lb. puppy jumped on my foot last night and I screamed, it wasn't pretty. So, lets see how this goes. He said it may take 6 weeks or longer to heal. I am such a clutz!!

This is what a loser I am

Well, I took a quiz from Heather and here is what I got.




I guess i'm not such a loser after all. LOL

More to come soon

Well, i've had a few comments to my last post that said I should just write whatever comes to me and I will get my own flow eventually. I totally agree with this and have decided that that is what I will do. As I said, i've been reading quite a few different blogs and I thought that the 101 or 50 (Sam) interesting things about people was, well, interesting. I'm in the middle of compiling my own list of interesting things and I must say that I thought I could come up with the list very quickly but i'm now stuck at around 50 but I will keep at it until I get all 101. It seems to me that almost all of the thoughts in my head involve some kind of sexual reference and I don't want anyone to think i'm some kind of nympho, although Jimmy tells me I am. LOL. I want to keep my list clean, somewhat, so I have to keep thinking of other things to put on my list. I'll be back soon with it.

I'm Back

Well, I haven't posted anything to my blog in a couple of weeks because I wasn't really sure what to put in it. I've been looking at a lot of different blogs to get ideas. I guess you could say I was lurking about like a little ghost. I did find quite a few that I've decided to link. I must say that I haven't found my writing flow yet and feel a little inadequate compared to most of the other blogs i've been reading. I'll just have to keep plugging along and it will come to me.